Reflections on Losing a Beloved Pet

I've had a lot of pets in my life.

The first one I ever had, and also the first one I ever lost, was my cat Boots. We lost him when I was just a young kid. I remember my dad telling us after we had finished dinner, that our neighbor had found him after he had been missing for several days. We all cried at the table.

Since then, I've had multiple hamsters, a box turtle, some bugs, several guinea pigs, a few fish, another cat, and a couple dogs. Most of these pets weren't all that special, and therefore not that big of a loss. But my wife and I have had our two dogs since early into our marriage, and our 4 kids have not known life without them. But one of our beloved dogs, Diesel, developed kidney disease and had to be put down today as his suffering and quality of life were getting pretty bad. 

Diesel was a special dog to us. We got him at the animal shelter about 11 years ago, after he had been abandoned somewhere in a field. He was a mix of dachshund and something else, and he was absolutely terrified when I first met him and brought him home. I don't know that he ever really recovered from being left in the field, as he behaved like a scavenging survivor all the years we had him. He would regularly look to steal food from our other dog, from the kids, off the table if he could reach it--anywhere, really. He just seemed to always be afraid he wouldn't have enough. And it's not like he didn't get enough to eat--we had to put him on a diet more than once, after he had eaten his way to looking like a plump sausage with little stubby legs.

He was known for his "guilty" look. He always looked like he was hiding something, like he had done something wrong and he knew it. It always made us laugh, because he rarely looked like he was able to relax. If you said his name, even in a gentle and loving way, he'd never make direct eye contact. Poor thing... he just never felt totally safe I guess.

And he was quite the wuss when it came to thunderstorms or loud noises, and he never wanted to stay outside. He'd often run to his kennel or to the couch when we told him it was time to go out and go potty. Then if you came to physically pick him up and take him outside, he'd flip over on his back and submit, but if you got too close he'd sprinkler pee everywhere. Usually, that was a no win situation and we just let him be for a few minutes so we didn't get pee on everything.

But he ended up becoming the most friendly, gentle, harmless dog you can imagine. He'd snuggle with you on the couch, always being careful not to disturb you too much. He really liked laying around a lot, especially as he got older. I think he was always deeply afraid, but we loved him a lot. We'll miss you, Diesel. Maybe in dog heaven, you can finally relax.